Interficio
by Mantinas
Summary: AU. Future fic. Eddy gets called especially to look into a reported murder. The person who requested him was an old friend. A psychotic little story. Read at your own risk. Onesided KevinxEdd. Character death! Title means 'I kill'. Hope you enjoy it!


Interficio

Mantineus-I like to think that the title is a play on words. It means I kill/destroy; which is basically what I'm going to do to how you envision our lovable scam artists' futures. It's also what's happening in the story. :p

This has been in my head for a long, long time. Yep, another one from when my head should have been looked at. XD The prompt was "Whom better to kill you than a friend?" a quote by me, actually. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer-I own nothing! Not the characters! Not the weapons, places, etc! Not even my soul!

* * *

He had to hold back grimaces. Leave it to his oaf of a friend to pick _here _as a place to reside. Here being a little patch in the woods not too far from the-still-dreaded Trailer Park. He did not even make it inside the house yet and he was mentally shouting about every little thing that was messy and thus destroyed the beauty of the once non-inhabited clearing.

Without being focused, he knocked on the decent looking door. Shuffling, a yawn, and the door opens, revealing a tired, lanky lump. Ed scratched his backside lazily, then perked up.

"Hiya-!"

_WHACK!_ A pipe connected with his head before he could say his visitor's name.

"Ow…"

Another whack followed the other, not allowing the dumb Ed time to recover. He knew from experience that he could not allow that. It had to be quick, though not gun quick. 'Cause if he had a gun, he would not need to do this and still maintain the façade of sanity.

Confused and bloodied, Ed laid on the floor. Tears escaped from his confused eyes and one word repeated itself over and over until it was over: _Why?_

The murderer's chest heaved. A bloodied hand began to wipe away the sweat before he grimaced because he felt the red trail his arm left behind. He sighed, and finally resigned. Did it matter anymore? He could stand to see Ed's trailer, the design reminiscent to his childhood. Sci-Fi movie posters all over the walls, action figures and comic books strewn about semi-haphazardly. And yet it seemed to have some order; as if the voices he was always sure Ed heard had told him where to put things and how.

He sighed once more, fighting back tears. He killed his best friend. He sniffled deeply, taking an excessive inhale. It was almost over. He just needed one more. One more…He found the phone under a pile of pizza boxes, the crust and a few half-eaten pizza slices with moldy cheese were either hanging out or had opened(the cheese stuck to the top of the box) as he was digging. The phone itself was dirty. But it would not matter. The reaper would come shortly to take him away. Away to some place peaceful.

He picked up the phone and dialed nine-one-one. It rang three times before a receptionist picked it up.

"I wish to report a murder." He said, giving the address. "And can you give me Officer Eddy, please. No one else, thank you."

* * *

Eddy sighed, he knew something was up. Sock Head wouldn't call him and state, vehemently, that only he could come at this time. This new feeling-something similar to a large rock plunging into the water and sink to the bottom-was alien to him, but he figured it came with the job. And like many things, he figured it would go away with it.

He was not surprised by the horrible condition the lawn was in. Unlike the egghead, scientist; Eddy and Ed were avid drinking buddies. With steady movements, he got out of his car and sauntered up to the door. He began to knock when the light tap of his knuckles made the door swing open.

"Come in," It was good, ol' Sock Head. Except something was off about him. His cheerful demeanor was gone-something one would expect if there was a murder-but something was amiss.

Walking inside, he found traces of blood leading up to a giant pool of it. Almost as if some giant had accidentally stepped on someone by accident. Then there was a trail of it leading away behind the still intact recliner he found Double D sitting on, his head lowered. A sorrowful stoicism hardened his face.

Eddy could not help but laugh. "I thought that, if anyone, you'd know the protocol a lot better than an actual officer."

"I do." The voice was dragging itself out.

"Then why'd you move the body, Sock Head?"

"I think as murderer I am at liberty to do whatever I want with my masterpiece." He chuckled. "Sorry, I just wanted to hear how that sounds. To put me at their level."

"Hehe," Eddy said nervously. "You had me goin' there, Double D."

"In what way?" He titled his head. "I did kill him, if that's what you're talking about."

"Why?" Eddy snapped. "God, Sock Head, Ed was your _friend_!"

"Whom better to kill you, than a friend?"

"Huh?"

"And on that token…" He sighed. "I want you to do the same to me."

"What? Why?"

Double D chuckled. His hysteria showing on his face. His eyes were wide, lips upturned into a smile, yet his eyes blazed with self pity as he explained everything.

"It never stops. The teasing! The servitude! Everything! It! Just! Never Stops!"

Eddy remained silent.

"My colleges call me names, our 'friends' still tend to pick on me, and then you two basically threw me away. I mean, I knew I was always the third wheel…I was the smart one who could invent what you wanted for your scams! But then once you hit the streets as a cop, you leave me behind because what can someone like me do for you now?"

"Ed drinks, you both go out drinking every-so-often. Then you forget about me. I want to die, to escape everything. But I'm too weak to kill myself."

Tears leaked from his eyes. "But like a phoenix, rising from my despair, came a thought. And from that thought, grew a plan. A plan to destroy your life, like you destroyed mine."

"What do you mean? I didn't do anything!"

A twisted smirk grew from his lips. "You think that…"

Double D stood from the chair, a bloody pipe was gripped tightly in his hand.

"Kill me, Eddy."

"No," Eddy said. "You may be a sick fuck, but there are better ways of dealing with you."

"You have five seconds, Eddy."

Eddy stood his ground.

"Four," He took a step closer.

"Three," Another

"Two," A psychotic smirk crossed Edd's face.

He charged at Eddy, the arm with the pipe raised above his head.

**BANG!**

Double D fell over on his back, a serene smile on his face. He felt his eyes go hazy, the darkness was coming to consume him. Set him free. Eddy stood over him, anger, sadness, and betrayal etched his features.

"Thank…You, Eddy…"

"I missed," Eddy said, taking out his cuffs. "I aimed too far to the right. Surprising what they'll teach you on the force."

"What?" Edd asked, dumbfounded. "Why?"

Eddy placed the cuffs on his friend's wrists and lifted him up, forcing the pipe from his hand.

"Why?"

Eddy silently walked Edd towards his cruiser.

"_Why_?"

Eddy threw him inside the back seat. Double D sat up quickly and when he entered the driver's seat he threw his face into the metal grill, hands still handcuffed behind him.

"**Why?**"

"HQ this is" He gave his number. "I have a suspect in my car. Request holding him with Kevin until State comes for retrieval. Oh, and bring the boys down here. They need to examine everything for records and evidence."

His request was granted.

Eddy never took his eyes off the road as his passenger bawled his eyes out, repeating the question like a chant. You see a lot of things in this business; things that will make you hard to life. Eddy was not one of those crusty, old farts, who saw it all and nothing bothered them. But today. Today he would join their ranks.

"Why? Why would you let me live? I want to die! I hate you, Eddy! I fuckin' hate you! You ruined my life, you fucking greedy asshole!" He continued on, ranting about how he ruined his life and how his plan was foiled.

Eddy kind of felt it funny that the brains in their group was tricked by simple psychology and failed to mention that in his pity party speech.

"Funny thing about Kevin," Eddy said, breaking the other's ranting, no discernable emotion was shown. "Came out a week ago, publicly that is, but he's been a frequent visitor to the little hotel at HQ. Drinking mostly. He'd always call your name."

Edd stopped his bawling as what his friend was saying sank in. Eddy looked into the rearview mirror at his once best friend.

"I wonder what he'll do to you?" He said, more to himself than to Edd, but then added. "If nothing happens, at least you both can talk about how much you hate me until State picks your sorry ass up."

Edd was about to interject.

"Your word against mine." Eddy cut in. "And if you keep this up, it'll be a cake walk."

They parked in front of the station. Eddy dragged Edd inside.

* * *

Edd was filed and thrown into his cell.

"Come back here and kill me, Eddy!" He screamed as the retreating forms of Eddy and the Sheriff walked off.

He was trapped in a dark cell. Alone…

"Double D?" Came a raspy voice. Almost as if the speaker was coming out of a dream and did not trust what he saw.

Double D turned around, his eyes wide in horror. He was strong now, but not as strong as the former jock. If only he never found the sauce, he would have gone pro. Edd remembered this and all of the poundings his cellmate had inflicted him with because of whom he hung around with and what they did.

"No, this is someone else."

"Well, I don't care!" Came the drunken reply. "You look an awful lot like im, so come ere!"

Kevin grabbed Edd and pulled him into a tight hug. Kevin laid his head on Double D's shoulder, his body quaking with audible sobs. Edd felt his back getting wet.

"It's been so long, Double D." Kevin sobbed. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Lemme…Go, Kevin!" Edd choked out.

"NEVER!" Kevin screamed, hugging his victim tighter. "You're here, with me now." He yawned, his grip becoming slack as a drunken sleepiness came over him. "And nothing's gonna take that away…"

Kevin dozed off, laying his head on Edd's chest. The jock let out a loud snore and Edd wondered how things could get any worse.


End file.
